The best self help book- Stop worrying and start living book summary

 You might never have heard of Stop worrying and start living, but we often forget this phrase when we are faced with negative or bad situations. It is human nature to recall what went wrong rather than what went right and worrying unnecessary despite knowing that worrying does not change the situation at all!

I had come across this book which really enlightened me. The book gives us practical examples and processes on how to stop worrying. The Author of the books is Dale Carnegie. Born in 1888, Carnegie was one of the first published authors in self-improvement, having written over ten books on topics like behavior change, habits, interpersonal skills, public speaking, and applying all of those in a business context.

This book was published in 1948, gives a clear idea of what worry can cause, as worrying is one of the leading causes of illnesses like heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. The author explains several methods with examples and case studies.

Ready steady go!. Keep aside all your worries for now

Chapter 1 – Live in “Day-tight Compartments

I am not interested in making a lot of money, but I was interested in making a lot of living. Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand. Shut off the past! Let the dead past bury its dead….Shut out of the past! Let the dead past bury its dead….Shut out the yesterday which has lighted fools the way to dusty death….A load of tomorrow, added to that of yesterday, carried today, makes the strongest falter. Life is a ceaseless change. The only certainty is today. Shut the iron door on the past and the future. Live in Day-tight Compartments.

Chapter 2 – A Magic Formula For Solving Worry Situations

When I started blogging, I analyzed the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure. After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, I reconciled myself to accepting it, if necessary. One of the worst features of worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate, When we worry, our minds jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision.

Chapter 3 – What Worry May Do To You

You might have heard or seen businessmen who do not know how to fight worry and failure are to die at a young age. (Dr Alexis Carrel] What shall it profit a man if he gains the world and loses his health. Plato said that “the greatest mistake physicians make is that they attempt to cure the body without attempting to cure the mind, yet the mind and body are one and should not be treated separately this is very very true. Face the facts: Quit worrying; then do something about it! If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in “day-tight compartments.” Don’t stew about the future. Just live each day until bedtime.

Chapter 4 – How To Analyse And Solve Worry Problems

I keep six honest serving-men, they taught me all I knew: Their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who. Three basic steps of problem analysis. The three steps are: Get the facts, Analyse the facts and Arrive at a decision and then act on that decision. Confusion is the chief cause of worry. Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision. Charles Kettering puts it: “A problem well stated is a problem half solved.”I find that 50 percent of my worries vanish once I arrive at a clear, definite decision; and another 40 percent usually vanishes once I start to carry out that decision. So I banish about 90 percent of my worries by taking these four steps:

1. Writing down precisely what I am worried about. 2. Writing down what I can do about it. 3. Deciding what to do. 4. Starting immediately to carry out that decision.

Chapter 5 – How to Eliminate Fifty Percent of Tour Business Worries

·    Question 1: What is the problem?

·    Question 2: What is the cause of the problem?

·    Question 3: What are all possible solutions to the problem?

·    Question 4: What solution do you suggest?

·    Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.

·    Too absorbed in his work to worry.

Chapter 6 – How to Crowd Worry Out of Tour Mind

If you notice, men rarely have nervous breakdowns. It is utterly impossible for any human mind, no matter how brilliant, to think of more than one thing at any given time. The remedy for worry is to get completely occupied doing something constructive. Keep busy.

Chapter 7 – Don’t Let the Beetles Get You Down

Life is too short to be little, let’s not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember “Life is too short to be little”

Chapter 8 – A Law That Will Outlaw Many of Tour Worries

Ninety nine percent of the things I worried about never happened. Let’s examine the record. Let’s ask ourselves: What are the chances, according to the law of averages, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur.

Chapter 9 – Co-Operate With the Inevitable

        Circumstances alone do not make us happy or unhappy. It is the way we react to circumstances that determine our feelings which is very true. There is only one way to happiness, and that is to           cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. If it has to be, it has to be and it will be. When we stop fighting the inevitable, we release energy which enables us to create a richer life and become mature.You and I will last longer, and enjoy smoother riding, if we learn to absorb the shocks and jolts along the rocky road of life.Every time I am tempted now to worry about something I can’t possibly change, I shrug my shoulders and say: Forget it. Try to bear lightly and Co-operate with the inevitable.

Chapter 10 – Put A “Stop-Loss” Order On Your Worries

Before you start worrying about this just ask the following question

How much does this thing I am worrying about really matter to me?

At what point shall I set a “stop-loss” order on this worry-and forget it?

Calmly analyzing our past mistakes and profiting by them-and forgetting them.

Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied.

Of course, you can’t saw sawdust! When you start worrying about things that are over and down with, you’re merely trying to saw sawdust.”

Put a “stop-loss” order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it any more.

Chapter 11 – Don’t Try To Saw Sawdust

Our mental attitude is the X factor that determines our fate. Emerson said: “A man is what he thinks about all day long”…How could he possibly be anything else? The biggest problem you and I have to deal with-in the fact, almost the only problem we have to deal with is choosing the right thoughts.

Chapter 12 – Eight Words That Can Transform Your Life

Roman Empire, Marcus Aurelius, summed it up in eight words-eight words that can determine your destiny: “Our life is what our thoughts make it. ”Be concerned about our problems, but not worried. Our peace of mind and the joy we get out of living depends not on where we are, or what we have, or who we are, but solely upon our mental attitude. Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. (Helen Keller)

Chapter 13 – The High Cost Of Getting Even

This statement was very heart-touching, even if we can’t love our enemies, let’s at least love ourselves. Let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don’t like, it is not worth it.

Chapter 14 – If You Do This, You Will Never Worry About Ingratitude

It is natural for people to forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight for a lot of heartaches. If we want to find happiness, let’s stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude and give for the inner joy of giving. To avoid resentment and worry over ingratitude.

Chapter 15 – Would You Take A Million Dollars For What You Have?

The biggest lesson I learned from that experience was that if you have all the freshwater you want to drink and all the food you want to eat, you ought never to complain about anything. About ninety percent of the things in our lives are right and about ten percent are wrong. If we want to be happy all we have to do is concentrate on the ninety percent that is right and ignore the ten percent that are wrong. We seldom think of what we have but always of what we lack. There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. Count your blessings- not your troubles.

Chapter 16 – Find Yourself And Be Yourself: Remember There Is No One Else on Earth Like You

Be the best of whatever you are. Let’s not imitate others. Let’s find ourselves and be ourselves.

Chapter 17 – If You Have A Lemon, Make A Lemonade

When you have a lemon, make lemonade. Turn a minus into a plus. Two men looked out from prison bars, one saw the mud and the other saw the stars. The best things are the most difficult. Happiness is not mostly pleasure; it is mostly victory. The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence, and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.

Chapter 18 – How to Cure Melancholy in Fourteen Days

Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. Do every day a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone’s face. Try to think every day about how you can please someone.

Chapter 19 – How My Mother And Father Conquered Worry

Faith is one of the forces by which men live and the total absence of it means collapse. (William James)

Chapter 20 – Remember That No One Ever Kicks A Dead Dog

Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog. Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy.

Chapter 21 – Do This and Criticism Can’t Hurt You

Never be bothered by what people say, as long as you know in your heart you are right. Do the very best you can: and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.

Chapter 22 – Fool Thing I Have Done

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day. Let’s keep a record of the foolish things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can’t hope to be perfect, let’s ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.

Chapter 23 – How to Add One Hour a Day to Your Waking Life

Rest often. Rest before you get tired. Rest is not a matter of doing absolutely nothing. Rest is repaired. Do what the Army does-take frequent rests. Do what your heart does-rest before you get tired, and you will add one hour a day to your waking life.

Chapter 24 – What Makes You Tired and What You Can Do About It

Mental work alone can’t make you tired. Psychiatrists declare that most of our fatigue derives from our mental and emotional attitudes. We get tired because our emotions produce nervous tensions in the body.  Worry, tenseness, and emotional upsets are three of the biggest causes of fatigue. Relax learn to relax while you are doing your work. Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. And habits can be broken, good habits formed. (James Allen)Relaxation is the absence of all tensions and effort.

Chapter 25 – How the Housewife Can Avoid Fatigue and Keep Looking Young

Keep a notebook or scrapbook for inspirational reading. Don’t dwell too long on the shortcoming of others. Get interested in your neighbors. Make up a schedule for tomorrow’s work before you go to bed tonight. Finally- avoid tension and fatigue. If you’re going to get the worry-kinks out of people, they’ve got to relax. Lie flat on the floor whenever you feel tired. Stretch as tall as you can. Roll around if you want to. Do it twice a day. Close your eyes. Quiet your nerves with slow, steady breathing. Breathe from deep down. Think of the wrinkles and frowns in your face, and smooth them all out.

Chapter 26 – Four Good Working Habits That Will Hep Prevent Fatigue and Worry

Good working habit 1: Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand. Good working habit 2: Do things in the order of their importance. These two priceless abilities are: first, the ability to think. Second, the ability to do things in the order of their importance.  Good working habit 3: When you gave a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Don’t keep putting off decisions. Good working habit 4: Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.

Chapter 27 – How to Banish the Boredom that Produces Fatigue, Worry, and Resentment

It is a well-known fact that your emotional attitude usually has far more to do with producing fatigue than has physical exertion. Fake it to you make it, act till it’s real. Give yourself a pep talk every day.

Chapter 28 – How to Keep from Worrying About Insomnia

Our life is what our thoughts make it. By talking to yourself every hour of the day, you can direct yourself to think thoughts of courage and happiness, thoughts of power and peace. By talking to yourself about the things you have to be grateful for, you can fill your mind with thoughts that soar and sing. Keep reminding yourself that getting interested in your job will take your mind off your worries, and, in the long run, will probably bring promotion and increased pay. So, to keep from worrying about insomnia, here are five rules: Read until you do feel sleepy. Worrying about insomnia usually causes far more damage than sleeplessness. Relax your body. Get yourself so physically tired you can’t stay awake. Protect your health and appearance by relaxing at home.

Chapter 29 – The Major Decision of Tour Life

A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm. It is perfectly appalling to realize that a man will give more thought to buying a suit of clothes that will wear out in a few years than he will give to choosing the career on which his whole future depends on which his whole future happiness and peace of mind are based. Good writing is the kind that transfers your thoughts and emotions to the reader and to do that, you don’t need a large vocabulary, but you do need ideas, experience, convictions, examples, and excitement.

Chapter 30 – “Seventy percent of all our Worries are about Money

Income accomplished nothing but an increased in spending- and an increase in headaches. What causes most people to worry, they don’t know how to spend the money they have. We have to have a plan for spending our money and spend according to that plan.

To lessen financial worries, let’s try to follow these eleven rules:

·    Get the facts down on paper.

·    Get a tailor-made budget that really fits your needs

·    Learn how to spend wisely.

·    Don’t increase your headaches with your income.

·    Try to build credit, in the event you must borrow.

·    Protect yourself against illness, fire, and emergency expenses.

·    Do not have your life-insurance proceeds paid to your widow in cash.

·    Teach your children a responsible attitude towards money.

·    If necessary, make a little extra money off your kitchen stove.

·    Don’t gamble-ever.

·    If we can’t possibly improve our financial situation, let’s be good to ourselves and stop resenting what can’t be changed.

Chapter 31 – Stories on How People Conquered Worry

We could eat only 3 meals a day and sleep in only one bed at a time. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Ask yourself: How do I know this thing I am worrying about will really come to pass.  Realize that as conditions are now, they are infinitely better than they use to be. This enables me to see and face my present troubles in their proper perspective as well as to realize that the world as a whole is constantly growing better. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Try “just laughing” at some of your sillier worries, and see if you can’t laugh them out of existence. Laugh at yourself. Why don’t crumple up your worries about yesterday’s problems and toss them into the wastebasket? Time solves a lot of things. Time may also solve what you are worrying about today. Face the worst that can happen.

How to stop worrying and Start Living deals with fundamental emotions and ideas. It is fascinating to read and easy to apply. Let it change and improve you. There’s no need to live with worry and anxiety that keep you from enjoying a full, active and happy life!

I highly recommend this book for all of you who read this summary.

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